if so he's just history

he was the past. perhaps he lived my story in the past. but today is the future, where a different story lies. how could i still flipping through the pages i once left without hesitation. going through the chapter i used to love, that used to shed my tears all night long. leaving times to mend my swollen eyes, and the shattered pieces of my beating flesh. if only he would realise the scars won't heal. but yet he taught me a great lesson through series of stabbing pain. at least the pain doesn't kill me. it makes me stronger, giving birth to a whole new point of view.

now you're in a different story. a different book. perhaps the wounded soul is healing. but the pain came back whenever you are there. it makes me smile to know that you're happy, and it even makes me cry to see your smile. if it is true i am no longer to be in your chapter, so let the time be the remedy. if so he's just history.

~anonymous~

cry me a river

she keep telling herself that it's a waste to cry for someone who is not worth it. or perhaps ceratin people. or certain circumtances. but if crying is the only thing that she can do, to make her feel better she'll go for it. swollen eyes is what she get. it doesn't matter anymore to her. at least she felt good, as if the burden just escape her lung. she can breath again, the burden no longer holding her down. she can't satisfy each and every person. the least she can do is for herself. she is on for it too. she wanted to make herself happy. if no one pity this soul, then she'll be the one to pity. she'll be her own guardian angel.

what happen?

she sat on the other side. watching from far. yet, she didn't look straight at him. enough to say she saw everything through the corner of her eyes. what is she doing? she herself is uncertain of it. she saw they were talking. uncertain emotion expressed by them, she can't read any. strange. usually she's good at reading mimic. today she failed. she feels uncomfortable, unable to read others emotion.

was she blinded by her own emotion? oh dear, she hate it. she hate it when the fact that she saw what lies far from her perspective, but never with what beneath her breath. funny, this phenomenon always happen everywhere. now she started to sounded like someone else.

she keep watching. escaping any eye contact so that she wouldn't get caught. but she's wrong. she was caught. by her own self.